Creating your healthy life doesn't have to be "perfect".
Dr Orlena chats about how it's better to go for "some changes" than "being perfect".
Erin Tarr chats with Dr Orlena and explains why she's joined the Healthy You Healthy Family group program and is ready to make lasting changes in her life.
Interested in the Scholarship for the Group Program?
Email [email protected]
Connect with Erin Tarr, confidence coach for teen and tween girls: https://erintarr.com
Hello, and welcome to the Fit and Fabulous Podcast with me, Dr. Orlena Kerek. I hope that you are feeling amazing. It is September here in Spain.
We've got one more week until the kids go back to school and it's a lovely week. I live in a tourist area and it quietens down a little bit before classes start and we have the beaches pretty much to ourselves.
Except for the moment that all the tourists go the builders and workmen return. They just seem to be doing building works everywhere here. It’s quite noisy until we get back to our house, which will hopefully be at the beginning of December.
I am so amazingly excited about my group program. Healthy You, Healthy Family. I launched it a few months ago and I needed a little bit of rocket fuel in that. I have been offering scholarships to the membership but to be clear, these aren't free but they're a greatly reduced price of what the final price is going to be.
At the moment we have four new people who have joined the membership and they are people who are all ready to take action. I am super excited to help them and to see their transformation.
I am going to be introducing them to you over the next few weeks so that you can see some of their struggles and see what it looks like to have this transformation. Because what I want to do is take away the veil behind coaching.
A lot of people don't really what goes on with coaching. And a lot of coaching is not magic. But the difference between coaching and not coaching is if you work with a coach you're far more likely to achieve your goals.
What I would really like to talk to you today is about perfectionism. I see so many people who say, ‘I'm thinking about making my healthy life, but I'm worried that it has to be perfect, that I'm not going to be able to do it perfectly because I've got my busy life and I've got all these busy things happening. I'm going to let you down as my coach because I'm not going to be able to do it perfectly.’
That my friend is what I call unhelpful thinking because that puts a barrier up between you and your goal.
Your goal is to create this healthy life. And when you say I can't do it perfectly, therefore I can't do it. You're making it really difficult for yourself.
Life isn’t perfect. Life is never perfect. And one thing that I often say to people is when you think about making changes, you can prevent the disaster from being really disastrous when life happens.
So what do I mean by that? You get pushed off the rails and you end up eating in a way that you don't want to or letting go of your exercise habit. If you can prevent that deep well from being so deep, you have actually achieved far more than if you perfect the perfect.
We always strive for perfection. For me, I used to think that I'll start thinking about being healthy in 15 years’ time when my kids have left home and I’m given a bit of peace and quiet so I can put my mind to it without interruption.
Clearly, that's not the case. In fact, my children were very much a driving force in me to make healthy changes. I needed to make my life more healthy now so that I could have the energy to help my children and because I wanted my children to grow up healthily.
I would say aim for B-plus. I'm definitely not a perfectionist, unlike some people. My husband is really into the details and he likes to dot the I's and cross the T's. I'm not like that. I'm very happy to say, ‘My podcast is not perfect, but it helps some people and that's great. If I had the ability to pay somebody to edit it and make it perfect, then I would do that. But in the meantime, I'm going for B plus.’
It's better to make some changes and make those changes stick than it is to not make the changes using the excuse that you can't do it perfectly.
Healthy living is about enjoying the journey and creating a life that you totally love and you think, ‘I am lit up by my exercise regime. I do my exercise regime because I really enjoy it.’ Like I do.
I go swimming every single day in the summer in the Mediterranean. I go with a friend and she's on holiday at the moment, but I go anyhow because I love swimming. My exercise regime definitely lights me up. In fact, I get to the stage where I think, ‘What does a day in the summer without swimming looks like.’ It looks hot and sticky and no plunging into that beautiful, cool expanse.
I'm going to introduce you to Erin, who is somebody who has just signed up and I want her to explain to you why she has decided to make changes now. If you are interested at the moment, I have six more scholarship spaces left. To find out about scholarships, please email me at [email protected] or if you're already on my email list, you can just reply and we will chat to find out if it is a good fit for you.
As I say, I am taking in people who want to make changes and who want help making those changes.
So, here is what Erin said about why she joined the program.
Dr Orlena: Erin, thank you so much for coming and chatting with us on the Fit and Fabulous Podcast.
Erin: Absolutely happy to be here.
Dr Orlena: Do you want to start by telling people a little bit about yourself and what you do?
Erin: Sure, I am from the United States had, I don't know if you can tell by my accent, and I work with teen and tween girls, actually around the world as a confidence coach, helping them to develop the habits and attitudes they need for success in life, regardless of what success looks like for them.
Dr Orlena: I'm really interested in this because I am the mother of a daughter. What kind of problems do they come to you with?
Erin: Friendship problems and relationship problems are probably the number one thing, whether it's a point at which a girl has issues with her parents or whether it is when parents are coming to me and saying, I see unhealthy relationship patterns with my girl and her friends.
Most often those are the biggest issues that girls will come to me with. Once we and trust one another, we get into a whole host of other issues.
Dr Orlena: Fabulous. And I will ask you in a bit where people can find you, but before I do that, I am super excited to be working with you this year. So congratulations and thank you for trusting in me and welcome to the Healthy Youth, Healthy Family group program.
Erin: Thank you, I’m excited to be here.
Dr Orlena: We've got an amazing breed of ladies now who are all really excited and are in a really good place to be making these changes. My number one question to you is why did you decide to take the plunge now?
Erin: A lot of it has to do with just looking toward the future. I think we are attempting to come out of a very difficult time as a world, which has been very difficult for individuals and as a family.
I’m looking forward to the future and really wanting to live my best life. Becoming a full-time entrepreneur and leaving the nine-to-five job behind is kind of setting a whole new trajectory for my life. And I want that to include my health and my wellbeing for the future.
Dr Orlena: Fabulous. I totally love that. Are you happy to share with people and you're welcome to say no if you don't want to, but are you happy to share with people, some of the story that you've had in the past, some of the things that have happened such that you feel the need to make some improvements?
Erin: Absolutely. I have always had stress and anxiety around food since the time that I could make my own decisions. And so basically since high school, I have been on a roller coaster of a health journey from weight Watchers to the low carb craze.
Dabbling in all sorts of different extreme exercise routines and you name it. And in the midst of that also then having three children and all of which are girls and wanting to raise them with a healthy attitude towards food. But I don’t have a healthy attitude towards food myself. So it's definitely an ongoing journey.
I really want this second half of my life basically to be a lot less stressful when it comes to this journey. I want it to be more easy and more fun. And I just want to also pass that along to my daughters.
Dr Orlena: Fabulous. Where would you like to be in 10 years’ time?
Erin: In 10 years’ time, I definitely want to look at myself on camera, whether it's a still photograph or a video, and say, ‘Wow, she looks like she feels great in her body.’
I think that's kind of a weird thing to say, but she looks comfortable in her clothes. She looks confident about how she's projecting herself. And then in looking at that person, knowing that that person is me.
Feeling excited about, the trips that I get to take and I get to do that because I'm a healthy individual. Because I'm excited about whether it's hiking or walking up the Eiffel tower or going to learn how to surf for the first time because I am fit and healthy enough that my body is able to try new things even at a more advanced age.
I want to still be trying new things and pushing my comfort zone. And when you have a bad back, bad knees, high blood pressure, all of the things that run in my family, if those are my legacy in another 10 years, I won't be able to do that. And so I envision a life of adventure for myself and my husband once our kids are grown and out of the house and that necessitates me being healthy.
Dr Orlena: Fabulous. We're going to work together for a year. What would you like to achieve? So you're sitting here and thinking, ‘I've got a year to make this happen.’ What are you going to make happen?
Erin: Two things. One is looking forward to exercising and finding the exercise that lights me up. Exercise that doesn't feel like torture or pain or punishment in any way. The kind of exercise that I'm excited to do and that I enjoy doing, and it's good for my body. So looking forward to that on a regular basis.
Two is having a healthy relationship with food, where I am able to listen to my body and feel good about what I'm putting in it and looking forward to eating. To not feeling shame around food, I think is a really big thing for me.
Through this journey this year, I want to really find the things that work for me that can be continuous throughout my life. I want to treat myself without feeling like I've fallen off a wagon or done something tremendously wrong that I can't get right again.
Just looking good in my clothes. I want to be able to go into any store and try on clothes and be able to decide on the merits of the clothing, whether or not I want to buy it, not on the merit of whether or not it shows my belly too much, or my arms juggle too much or, you know, whatever it is. I want to just be able to feel good in anything that I put on.
Dr Orlena: I totally love it. I'm so excited to see your transformation and I'm really looking forward to the next year coming up. So would you like to tell people where they can find you and what services you offer?
Erin: Absolutely. I offer one-on-one coaching as well as a membership program for girls, pretty much of all ages. And that starts usually around the age of eight to eighteen, but I do have some girls that are older than that that I work with one-on-one and.
I really enjoy just spending time with them and helping them to grow in confidence and grow in the ways that they can own their own uniqueness and the ways that they're supposed to show up in this world.
My website is www.erintarr.com
Dr Orlena: Fabulous. I will put that link in the show notes and thank you so much for recording this little snippet with us.
Dr Orlena is a health coach. She helps busy mums go from "I can't lose weight" to feeling fit and fabulous. Find out more about her here.