How do I get Past the Excuses? Podcast Episode 159


"Help! I can't get past the excuses and do all the things I know I should be doing. Please help!"

Today I'm talking about how we bust past those excuses that are holding you back and get to really loving your healthy new life.

Transcription of Podcast

Please note this transcription is generated by software. There may be some errors. I hope you find it useful.


Hello, and welcome to fit and fabulous with me, Dr. Orlena kerek. I hope that you are feeling amazing and fabulous and excited for 2022. My children went back to school today. So today is my first day back at work and I'm super excited. We do still have builders in the house. So fingers crossed. I can record this before they start drilling again.

So I'm very grateful to the builders because they're finishing my house, but I would quite like them to get my office done so that I can get on with. Okay. Okay. Today I was inspired by somebody, somebody on the internet, in a Facebook group who said she was in a weight loss, motivation, and support for healthy eating group.

“I’m Stuck in the Excuses Phases and it’s Stopping me Lose Weight”

And she said help. I'm stuck in the excuses phases. Again, I have multiple excuses for everything. How do I move on and get back at the healthy eating and working. And I have loads and loads and loads of answers and realized that I couldn't fit them all in that tiny little box that you get like three lines where you can write a huge, great essay.

How do We Bust Out of Excuses and Enjoy a Healthy Life?

And that actually, this was a really, really, really good episode for a podcast. So I think this is. The pillar number four. So let me just recap. In case you have been hiding in a hole and you have not heard my four pillars to healthy, amazing you, number one, healthy eating that you love. And by the way, just as a side note this year, I'm really going to be concentrating on emotional eating and helping everybody who comes my way.

Oh, the banging. Hang on a sec. Oh, by the magic of podcast recording, I'm hoping this is better. I have moved into my son's bedroom and hopefully the banging won't be on the recording.

Are You an Emotional Eater?

So I am going to be focused on focusing on emotional eating because everybody says, Hey, I eat healthily. I eat lots of vegetables.

That's not the problem. The problem is I'm totally scuppered. Bye carbohydrate, cravings, emotional, eating, all that candy, whatever it is for you. And. When I'm working with my clients, I realized that this is a common thread for everyone. In fact, I think it's a common thread for absolutely everyone. So 2022, I'm really going to be focusing on helping people with emotional eating.

And we're going to kick off with a workshop, eliminate emotional eating. I haven't quite set the date for it, but next week I will tell you when that is going to be. And if you're on my email list, then you'll be one of the first to find out.

Recap of Dr Orlena’s 4 Healthy Pillars

So that side note, the four pillars are loving, healthy, eating Peter number two, exercise that lights you up.

Pillar. Number three, delicious, delicious, healthy sleep, and pellet. Number four is your emotional wellness, including stress levels and really including your motivation and this all boils down to motivation. So before I start work with anybody. Before anybody does anything. I think you need to get really, really clear on why you want to do something.

So when you're there saying help, I'm stuck in the excuses phase, that is because you have decided to do something that you feel you ought to do or should do. I ought to get more healthy. I think I need to do this. And what you haven't really got is the clarity of why you are doing. And now, yes, I know that your brain knows this.

Get Clear on Why you Want to Make Healthy Changes

I ought to get more healthy, so I don't get unwell, but there's such a valuable exercise in painting that picture for you. You don't want to, in abstract terms, you want it. Reality of what the difference means to your life. And this is another exercise that I love doing. In fact, you can sign up and get the roadmap to healthy you, and it will walk you through this.

And if you want to come and do this exercise with me, I am more than happy to walk you through this exercise. In fact, it's another one that I do in the group coaching sessions, the free group coaching sessions that I do. But when you stand there at this crossroads and you look forward and you think, okay, if I carry on how I am going to be then, oh my goodness.

I'm in danger of dot, dot dot. Now, obviously we can never tell who exactly is going to get diabetes or heart disease or whatever, or the horrible disease, but it's a very real possibility. Now, if you make changes and think about how your life will be, if you implement healthy eating and. So that you can do it without thinking about it.

What does your life look like then? And I think this is where people trip up because they don't believe that they can change. So you might paint that picture and go, okay, I'm going to have loads of energy. I'm really going to enjoy my healthy living. I'm going to feel so much better when I do these things.

Can You See the Connection Between Your Actions and Outcomes?

And you really need to connect the cause and effect. So for example, if you're saying, okay, I know I ought to go and to do some exercise. What you're saying is I don't really believe that the exercise is going to help me feel better, but when you start to show yourself that exercise does help you feel better, then it makes it so much easier to do.

And let's be totally honest. It's not that exercise always is enjoyable. I love exercise and I go for a run once a week. Sure. There are times when my brain is going, I would rather lie in bed than go for a run. But when I'm on that, I am taking note of, oh, do you know what my body is moving now? And I am so grateful that my body moves.

Focus on What You Enjoy About Healthy Living and Exercise

My mother in law is in a wheelchair. And I'm so grateful that I have the ability to use my arms and legs. And I'm not going to take that for granted. And then I might get into a bit of a rhythm where I can just feel my arms and legs, just moving and go. Wow. It's kind of hypnotic almost. And when I get home, I have this amazing sense of achievement and energy and, you know, unless I've done a really long run, which I don't do very often.

And then I come home feeling, oh my goodness, I'm about to die. I don't do that very often. I normally come home going, I've done a short run. That's it? I feel amazing. But it's about linking that. Exercise to feeling good because when you're staying, I ought to do some exercise. You don't believe that exercise is going to make you feel better.

And that is a journey that you have to go on. And so the first step is really getting clear on what does it mean for you to do these healthy things? What would it mean to you create that image, that transformation for yourself, and you have to really believe it because if you don't believe it, you're just going to go.

I'm not going to do it. Why would I bother to do these things? Because it doesn't make any difference. I've been there before. It doesn't make any difference, but I promise you that if you implement healthy living in all of all four of those pillars, that you will feel better. And in fact, It doesn't take ages to feel better.

You Don’t Have to Make Big Changes to See Amazing Results in Your Energy Levels

I was talking to the ladies in my health, you healthy family group program last week. And one of them was saying, Hey, do you know what? Over Christmas, I almost deliberately slipped back a bit. I started doing things that I wouldn't normally do, but it was Christmas time. And I kind of wanted to see what it felt like.

And, oh my goodness. It was such an amazing lesson to remind myself that I do feel so, so much better when I'm implementing all of this healthy living. So it doesn't take long to feel better when you start healthy living now. So that's the very, very first step that's okay. Finding my inner motivation. Now, if you found your inner motivation and then you're still saying, Hey, you know what, I'm stuck in that excuses phase again.

Keep Your Healthy Living Motivation Alive

Well, number one, you need to keep that in a motivation alive. And that's one of the things. I think we need to work on always, it's not like motivation falls from the sky. You have to work on inner motivation and having helped work on inner motivation is not a bad thing. So let's say you've got that in a motivation, but you're still finding excuses.

This is when you need to use. Like the different aspects of your brain and there are different aspects of your brain. So what happens is when you have made a decision and you've gone, I ought to do this thing. That's your thinking brain saying, Hey, I'm in control and I'm going to do this thing. I'm going to give up chocolate for 30 days.

Align Your Habit Brain and Thinking Brain

And what happens? The excuses phase is that's your habit brain going? Yeah, we just do it like this all the time. Three o'clock it's chocolate. Or I don't really want to do my exercise. I want to sit on the sofa again. So there's two different aspects of your brain and they're saying different things, and that can be really confusing to two aligned because we think of ourselves as one person.

But if you think of yourself as a controller and then a habit, it makes it too much. And they basically both need to be in align because otherwise you're just going to be arguing with yourself. So one really super powerful exercise is to write out all of those excuses, just list them all. So it might be, Hey, I don't want to do any exercise or I really liked watching television or I feel deprived when I'm not eating chocolate.

So get all of them down on a piece of paper, literally, absolutely everything. Then do something different, go for a walk or come back to it the next day and have a look at it with fresh eyes and start to look at those excuses and think. Okay. That one is valid. I do feel deprived when I don't ever eat chocolate.

How about I change that? And there are lots of solutions to that. So it might be that you say, okay, well, I'm going to have chocolate once a week, or I'm going to change the way I think about deprivation. Oh, that's another interesting topic that I wanted to talk about. So there are different ways that you can have a look at this, but you need to have a look at all of those excuses and you need to either change what you think about those excuses or decide.

Okay. Yes, I do feel deprived that I'm going to eat chocolate, or I want to sit and watch television, but I want to sit and watch television, but I know that if I go for a walk, then I'm going to feel much better. So I'm putting myself in a situation where it's easier for me to say. And this comes back to habit formation as well.

Creating Healthy Habits Isn’t About Discipline

It's not about discipline. It's not about being strong-willed. It's about working out how you can make those habits easy to. So that you don't have to have that discussion with yourself so that you just do it before your brain has even fought about those excuses. So if you haven't heard about how to make habits, I've done lots of podcasts on this, but essentially you want to make it easy for you to do the good habits and not so easy to do the bad habits and habit formation takes time, which is why my healthy, you healthy family program is an entire year long.

Now on a side note, I am planning. On having a shorter program, which is about eliminating emotional eating, which would be a shorter program, but with the healthy, you healthy family program, it's about. Making changes to lots of habits to your way of living. And I genuinely believe that takes a period of time.

And I always talk about the rickety bridge as well. And that's that period of time when you think you're building up a habit or you're building it up, you think you've got the habit. Life happens. You go back to how it was before and that's because you haven't ingrained that habit. So when you're going back to your list of excuses and going, okay, I am seeing that I'm not going for a walk because I want to sit on the sofa.

Then you need to be honest with yourself and think, okay, do I want to actually build up this habit or not build up this habit? And if the answer is, yes, I want to build up this habit, then you need to put on your thinking hat and think, okay, how do I make this easy for me? Well, I put my walking shoes by the front door and I put a bag of rubbish there because I have to go and walk it to the rubbish bin or I have to do some errand.

How Can You Make The First 2 Minutes Easier for Yourself?

So it's going to get me out of the door. Remember the first two minutes are always the most difficult. That transition is always the most difficult. Once you're walking, you're enjoying it, but you have to work out how you can get yourself started and how you can make it difficult to watch television. Hi through remote control.

I dunno, something like that. So that is an overview of, Hey, I have got excuses now. I did want to talk to you about deprivation actually. Cause I think this is another really interesting topic of conversation. It being January and everybody going okay, we're going to do new year's resolutions. I'm going to not eat chocolate.

I'm going to do whatever. I hear a lot of people saying, oh my goodness, dieting doesn't work. You must, must always think about the healthy things you're eating and you mustn't ever cut out bad things and focus on cutting out bad things, because if you're depriving yourself, fat is never going to work.

Reducing A Certain Food Doesn’t Have to be about Deprivation

And to a certain extent, I agree. I think, yes, we do want to focus on the healthy things that we're eating and not constantly. Deny ourselves or deprive ourselves. However, I think there is another way of thinking about that and that is this, let me sidetrack for bet. So in January I am doing vegan January and I'm doing dry January and I can look at it like, oh my goodness, I am depriving myself of alcohol for the whole of January or.

Look at all the Positives You Get

Look at it in a different way and say, Hey, do you know what? I'm not partaking of alcohol for the whole of January, because I believe it is so much better for my health. And I'm not thinking about it as a deprivation. I'm looking at the positives I'm getting from not drinking alcohol. Hey, I wake up every single morning feeling amazing.

I tell you what, it's so much easier to go for a run when you haven't had a glass of beer the night before. I was listening to a podcast, which I really recommend listening to called thinking nutrition. And he was talking about alcohol and how it's really, really bad for us. And I, 100% agree. I think we like to think that alcohol isn't as bad for us as we think, but it is not true.

It is just plain, not good for us. So. How you think about what you're doing is super important. And if you're stuck in this idea of, oh my goodness, I can't deprive myself ever, and it is going to be deprivation. Then it is going to be really difficult for you to change your habits. Now, one thing that I think is really useful is.

Try Reducing or Cutting Out for a Short Period of Time

Cutting out something for a short period of time, because it shows you that it is not as bad. I have done dry January three years now, and I know that it's not bad and that I actually enjoy it. Yes. There are times when I think, oh, I'd quite like to have a glass of beer at five o'clock in the afternoon.

That's the time I tend to have a beer, but there's no bed in the house. So I'm going to have a cup of water instead. And it's no big deal. Like, yes, the desire is there. It's gone in about a minute and I've just moved on with my. And I'm still doing basically the same things, getting dinner for the kids, whatever it is I do in the evening, reading a book, playing the guitar with a w without alcohol and the same goes for being vegan.

It's actually really interesting to be vegan and cut out cheese and dairy and things like that and think, okay, do I feel depressed? Or am I enjoying this experience of seeing what it's like not to eat dairy foods and think, okay, when February comes, I can decide that I'm going to either go back to eating all the dairy that I was eating before, or eat less or continue to cut it out.

And that's my choice to make. Do I feel deprived? Well, my children like to offer me their chocolates that they had from January the safest the festival here called Kings and they were given chocolates by one of our neighbors and they like to offer them to me because they know that it's got milk in them.

And then I'm going to say, So, yes, they offered them to me and they do it to tease me as well. No, I don't feel particularly deprived, but that's because I choose to say no, actually what I'm doing here is being vegan. So a few thoughts you don't have. I feel like you're depriving yourself to cut something out of your diet.

That is all just how you think about it. And yes, it does take work to train yourself because if you have that dominant thought of, I want chocolate, I want chocolate. I'm not going to allow myself to have chocolate when you're thinking about it like that. You're just going to end up arguing with you.

Okay, so sign up for the handout, the Dr. Orlena’s roadmap to healthy, amazing you. I think the easiest way to find it is to go to Dr Orlena and I'll put a link in the show notes, show notes, but the easiest way is to go to Dr Orlena. And then just the top bar says how you can sign up for it, have a fabulous week.

And I will see you next week with more news about workshops and when they are actually happening. Okay. Bye-bye.

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Written By Dr Orlena

Dr Orlena Kerek (MBChB from the University of Bristol, UK) trained as a pediatric doctor. She is now a family health coach. She helps busy mums who want to feel amazing by eating healthy food, enjoy a healthy life, get back into their honeymoon shorts and teach their kids healthy habits all without thinking about it.

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