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Hello? Hello. Hello. I hope that you are feeling amazing. Welcome to fit and fabulous with me, Dr. Orlena Kerek. . Big question. What are those thoughts that are stopping you from making amazing progress?
That's what we're talking about today now, before I dive into today's session. Super exciting news. I have finished my video for you, which is called the five steps.
My clients use to eliminate emotional eating drop 10 to 50 pounds naturally and lead a high energy life. So if you are finding yourself, fed up with eating foods, you don't want to, and don't need to, for reasons you don't fully understand.
Or you want to be healthy and get the body you want, but you know, you need to change your relationship with food. You want to lose 10 to 50 pounds naturally in a sustainable way without traditional dieting or calorie counting. You want 10 out of 10 energy levels every day to do all the things you want to.
And you want to create a way of healthy living that you love and can continue for the rest of your life. Then go watch that video, right. The, you can get it. It's instant access on my website, drorlena.com. There's a little red bar at the top and you can just sign up for it there, and it will take you straight away to this amazing video that is going to be life changing.
And these are really the five steps that I think are so important to embody before you really start on this journey, if you want it to be success. So you can sign up for that and get instant access.
Okay. Today, I want to think about those thoughts that really don't help you and don't serve you. And we were talking about this in our, in the group program yesterday, we were going through some of these, what I call distorted thinking and really nailing where it is.
These are showing up for us. So. Let me think about some of the things that I hear three frequently, and there's quite a lot for this. So I'm not going to do the entire session that is in my group program, but this is a little snippet of it. So what about this?
”I stuck to habit for four days and then I failed and I find that this is a repeating, repeating pattern.”
I keep doing this. I do really well for four days, and then I fail or I should be thinner. I should be able to do it by myself. How about this one?
”I’ve eaten a little bit of chocolate and now I'm going to eat all of it.”
And here's one of my favorite ones. After I walk people through the healthy reboot that I do with my clients.
And then I meet up with them and I say, how are you doing? And they're like, oh, I didn't do this. I didn't do that. I didn't do this. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's just rewind a little bit and think about all the things that you did choose. So if you have ever come across.
Thought distortions, you will be picking up some of these thought distortions in some of these phrases.
And I'm going to pick out just a few of them and have a think about how these are not helping you. So the first one is all or nothing thinking, which goes like this. I have eaten a bit of chocolate and now I'm going to eat the whole bar hands up. If that is something that you see in yourself. And I know so many people, this is just one of the really common things that I see with my clients.
Yet. I have a little bit of chocolate now I'm going to eat the whole bar of chocolate or it might be cookies or whatever it is, but can you see how fat is not correct? Thinking eating a whole bar of chocolate is not as good for you as eating a little bit of chocolate. So that's what we call it all or nothing.
What about this overgeneralization? So if something happens, you make it mean it always happens. So I stepped to a habit for four days and then I failed and now I'm a failure. Or as my son said to me this morning, you're always so mean, mommy. Now that is overgeneralization, which was not what he wanted to hear.
Eight 30 this morning as he's busy getting really cross with me. But you can see that what he's really trying to say is I feel like you are being mean to me right now and I'm cross about it. But what he's saying is you're always mean now, clearly that's not true. Nobody is always and to think, but it's a really good example of overgeneralization.
Now, going back to this comment of, I stuck to a habit for four days, and then I. Another really good over generalization. I failed. Oh my goodness. No, you didn't fail. You just didn't stick to that habit. That's not a failure. That's just, Hey, I didn't do the habit. It's not a big deal unless you make it a big deal.
So here's another one. I should be thinner. I should be able to do it by myself. So many people tell me that they should be able to do it by themselves. This word should is a really. Alarm bell ringer in my mind when we say shoot, what we mean is I don't really like the way reality is turning out. I've done all this work and I think I ought to be thinner.
That's not the way life works. Like reality is showing you that, that isn't the case. So what it's kind of saying is my ideal is this, and I'm fighting my ideal. I'm fighting reality. It isn't what I want it to be. And so many people tell me, I should be able to figure this out by myself. I should be able to do this by myself.
I don't need any. And well, here's the big question. Is that your reality? So the should is a really big alarm bell ringing. When you hear yourself say should or must have a think about what is going on there. Another example I see if this is I should do more exercise or I should do something like that, I should eat in a more healthy way.
And again, what you're saying is. This is ideal life, but it's not matching up with my reality, which has, I'm not doing all of these things and I'm not really hearing the love for doing all of these things either. Okay. What else have we got on this list of distorted ways of thinking. Emotional reasoning.
I love this one. I love becoming aware of this one. And I think this is a really big one for so many people. So the way you feel makes you think that it's true. So for example, I feel guilty. Therefore I must have done something wrong. And when I say it to you like that, you're probably thinking that's crazy.
That just clearly doesn't make sense. Of course, it doesn't make sense. It's not logical, but often our emotions aren't logical and. We exacerbate things from them. So another example of this is I feel like a failure. Therefore, I am a failure and you can see how thinking like that. It's really not going to put you in a good place to be able to make big changes.
So I would love to know what your emotional reasoning is. When you have an emotion, what do you make it say about yourself? Here's another one.
Magnification and minimization. So enlarging your errors and negative thoughts and minimizing the positive. So this is a really good example of this is mistakes.
So you might make a mistake or something. Didn't go very well. Say for example, your shopkeeper and you see a hundred clients a day and 99 of them are super happy and give you smiles and say, thank you. This is amazing. And one customer complaints, when you go home at night, Which customer are you thinking about?
The one fat wasn't happy, the negative one, as opposed to the 99 happy ones. And the say it doesn't matter whether it's the way we eat. This is the prime example of, you know, when I've had that conversation with people and say, how did your first week of changing the way you eat, go? And they go, oh, it was.
No, it wasn't a disaster. You did 99 out of a hundred things amazingly. And one thing you didn't change and you fixated on that one thing. So this is magnification and minimization magnifying, the negative things and minimizing the positive. And I think this is human nature. But it is not helpful. Okay.
The last one I'm going to tell you about today is a labeling. So either labeling yourself or labeling somebody else, and either of those is not very helpful. So if you're labeling yourself, you might say something like I'm a failure or I'm a born loser. I'm I can't lose weight. I can't be healthy. I'm not a healthy.
So I'm a failure instead of I made a mistake and I like to see ourselves as a river. We're not. A moment in time. We're not one thing. We are a collection of lots of things, and we can't label ourselves as one thing or another. I may have made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a bad person. So another example of this would be with our children.
Our children may have done something disobedient that doesn't make them a disobedient child or children do things that are disobedient from time to time. But lately. Your child, your partner, your friends, other people, or yourself is not a helpful way. It's much better to look at that action and go, okay.
I made a mistake or yes, my child didn't do as I ask them to do at that moment in time. Okay. So a few recaps. I haven't been through all the common thought distortions because there are lots and lots of them, but it's really, really useful to have a look at. The way our brain thinks we have this idea that our thoughts are real and true.
And if we think something, it must be the case. And we're so inside our thoughts that we rarely take time to step out and go, Hmm, is this actually serving? Sometimes all thoughts are true and they don't serve us. So it might be that I think my child is acting in an entitled way and that may be true, but it's not a very helpful thought for me right now.
So what have we covered today? All or nothing thinking I ate a piece of chocolate. Now I have to eat the whole bar overgeneralization. I failed at this goal. I always fail magnification and minimization, emotional reasons. Labeling and should statements. I should be more disciplined. I should do more exercise.
I should be thinner than I am. Okay. I hope this is useful. I'd love, love, love to know what your thoughts distortions are. Or if you think you have a negative thought, that's really holding you back and stopping you from getting where you want to go, come and post it in the Facebook group. And I will. Help you disentangle it and reframe it so that it isn't an obstacle anymore.
Now go and watch that video. It is an amazing video. It is going to transform your life. The five steps my clients use to eliminate emotional eating drop 10 to 50 pounds naturally, and lead a high energy life. And you can sign up. At the top of my website, drorlena.com. I will also put the link in today's show notes, have a fabulous day.
Episode 145: One Simple Tip to Make Healthy Living Easy
Episode 134: How to Make Weight Loss Easy After Menopause
Dr Orlena Kerek (MBChB from the University of Bristol, UK) trained as a pediatric doctor. She is now a family health coach. She helps busy mums who want to feel amazing by eating healthy food, enjoy a healthy life, get back into their honeymoon shorts and teach their kids healthy habits all without thinking about it.